somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize