i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
