i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize