did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
