I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
