I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
