How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize