I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
