i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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