It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
