Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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