found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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