I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
