so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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