I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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