What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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