Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
