my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I can't put those talents on a resume
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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