Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
