she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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