Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
