i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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