I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Randomize
