I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
