He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
