And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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