Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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