remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
soo... how was my night?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
