Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
