Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
