I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
