my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
vagina is talking i cant
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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