"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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