Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
