i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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