His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
