farters have to be the big spoon...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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