buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
