Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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