Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
