Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
