My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
