do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
