the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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