like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
