we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
