apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
