remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
