Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
people are starting to question the shark bite story
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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