Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
