I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
