I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
