Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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