I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
