its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
