omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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