I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
