I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
