Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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