____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
