I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
if only i could text you this smell
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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