just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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