p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
