so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
