some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
