i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
