Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We're too hungover to prance.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize